


Touch Me

by thesoundofnat



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M, Touch-Starved, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 11:06:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6801184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan keeps touching Adam in one way or another. At first he’s confused, then he’s flattered, and it all goes on until he feels comforted. He doesn’t understand why it’s happening, but he doesn’t want it to stop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Touch Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever Pynch fic (Raven Cycle fic in general) and I’m super nervous about posting it, but I figured if I never post that first fic I won’t ever have the courage to possibly move on to write more fics. This is basically just a bunch of moments where Ronan and Adam touch each other (in non sexual ways, mind you). Hopefully I didn’t make anyone too out of character. Feel free to send me some feedback, and I hope you enjoy it! As far as first fics go I’m quite proud of it.
> 
> Also! I started this before The Raven King came out, and it just so happens that my copy still hasn’t arrived as I’m posting this, so if something seems off please keep in mind that I haven’t actually finished the series yet!
> 
> Also posted on my tumblr thesoundofnat.tumblr.com

The night was chilly and magical; a typical autumn evening with faded and currently fading golden light illuminating their features. The slight breeze kept ruffling Adam’s hair, and he kept whipping his head around to get it out of his face. Gansey was talking to the whole group, but Blue was the only one to acknowledge his words. Noah was at her side, but he didn’t seem to be listening to them. Ronan was out of Adam’s view.

He watched idly as Blue reached out to give Gansey a light shove because of something he said, which he responded to with a confused expression that told them all that he had no idea what part of what he said had been wrong or offensive.

Adam felt his lips twitch upwards; finding the humor in the situation for once. The evening couldn’t be more familiar if it tried. Adam very much liked familiarity. He didn’t use to, because it usually equaled his same old, boring, rather miserable life. Now things were different. Familiarity meant Gansey’s enthusiasm, Ronan’s snark. It meant Noah’s sudden appearances, Blue’s sharp wit. Familiarity wasn’t just him getting through everyday in hopes that the next would be less familiar. It now meant evenings like this; where everything and anything could happen, but he didn’t mind it as long as they were all together.

He felt content for the first time in what felt like ages, and he would gladly just lean back and enjoy the moment.

But then something happened and he was left a baffled mess. He barely had time to react before it was over, and his eyes followed Ronan’s retreating back in confusion. Ronan didn’t even act like something had happened, but Adam was sure he could feel his relentless stare.

All he knew was that Ronan had walked up to him, pressed his arm against Adam’s for just a few seconds and then walked away as if that was a common thing. As if they touched all casually everyday.

It was safe to say that Adam didn’t know what to make of it.

On one hand, he felt sort of flattered. Ronan wasn’t the most affectionate guy on the block - or the state - and for him to try to get close to Adam, as if to assure him that he was there, wasn’t just a simple gesture. It was as if he’d been able to read Adam’s thoughts about everything being all right as long as they weren’t apart. As if he could see right through him. Adam didn’t know when that started being a comforting thought, but it felt good to not be completely unknowable.

On the other hand, Adam and Ronan didn’t just touch like that, and he couldn’t help but wonder what it meant. He’d never seen Ronan make an extra effort to touch the others, even though Adam was sure they would appreciate it just as much as he had. Maybe Adam just gave off this vibe of needing proximity rather than just comforting words. Maybe Ronan wanted to show him that not all things physical were bad things.

That last thought made Adam swallow thickly. Even though it seemed a bit unlike Ronan, it was also an action that screamed Ronan’s name.

Maybe Adam needed to learn to read him as well as he could read Adam.

Ronan joined the others; all of them standing in front of the Camaro with their backs to Adam. The sunset was giving Henrietta a golden tint. The first few stars were peeking down on them, and Adam remained where he was for a moment. Their silhouettes looked good enough for him to wish he had a camera; skills be damned.

They seemed to simultaneous realize that they were all standing there without him, so they turned to him like one and gave him several variations of, “Adam, come here.” He joined them with a warm feeling spreading through his body and soul.

* * *

 

Adam hadn’t meant to, but he’d fallen asleep in the car as they were driving back from their latest exploration. He’d done that quite often lately, which just proved how exhausted he always was. Fortunately it had only been him and Gansey, so he didn’t feel as ashamed about it.

But it wasn’t Gansey’s face he saw when he opened his eyes. In fact, Gansey was still in his seat, but the hands that had woken him up came from his other side of the car. The door was open and Ronan was looking down at him. His hands were still resting on Adam’s arm.

He gave his arm a squeeze. “Get up, Parrish, or you will be all grumpy.”

Adam rubbed at his eyes. “As if you’re one to talk.”

“Ha.”

Ronan’s hands vanished and he disappeared from Adam’s sight. Why he’d woken him up instead of Gansey he couldn’t tell. Why he’d even been outside he didn’t know. All he knew was that the spot on his arm that Ronan had been touching missed the warmth.

He turned to Gansey to see him examine him with a weird expression. Adam couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was. “What?”

Gansey shook his head and opened the car door. “Nothing.”

Adam wondered if he was meant to be confused for the majority of this week.

* * *

 

Adam was exhausted and pissed off and felt like shit in general and probably looked it all too well. Fortunately only Ronan was around to witness this. Unfortunately Ronan had a tendency to annoy him to pieces when he was in a _good_ mood. He wasn’t sure if them being alone together in that moment was going to end up with him having blood on his hands or not.

He had to admit that it felt good to not be around Gansey or Blue, though. He was so so tired of fighting with those two. At least with Ronan neither of them really harbored any hard feelings for too long.

Ronan must’ve noticed that he was in a bad mood, but unlike Gansey he didn’t tiptoe around him, and unlike Blue he didn’t frown at him in disapproval. He didn’t judge him or question him, but simply acted like usual. That, of course, wasn’t always the best thing, but Adam appreciated the sentiment. At least he did once he’d calmed down a bit.

He was brooding in the metaphorical corner that was the auto shop, and Ronan, for some reason, had wound up driving over and was currently leaning against the wall; probably frowning at Adam in the way he usually did. Or at least at Adam’s legs, that were the only visible part of him. Fuming underneath a car turned out to be the best way to fume, because he could keep his hands busy and his emotions to himself.

“You’re all alone here,” Ronan suddenly said, causing Adam’s hands to still.

“So? Wait, are you excluding yourself?”

Ronan ignored his question. “Don’t you ever get tempted to just leave early? How do you even know when you’re allowed to leave?”

“I leave once my work is done for the evening,” Adam replied, turning his head to look at the part of Ronan that he could see. He sure was wearing some interesting shoes. “Why are you asking?”

“You just seem like you’re gonna pass out any second or some shit,” Ronan said nonchalantly.

“How can you even tell when you can’t even see me?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions, Parrish.”

As predicted Adam felt a twinge of annoyance, which could easily be the spark that would start a raging fire if Ronan wasn’t careful. “Why are you even here?”

Ronan scoffed. “Whatever.”

“No, don’t ‘whatever’ me. What do you want, Lynch?”

Adam had slid out from under the car and was glowering at him, but to be fair it was nothing compared to Ronan’s glare.

“I was just trying to be civil. Fuck me for trying.”

Adam groaned and reached up to rub at his temples. Ronan was making his already existing headache worse. “Dammit, Lynch. Sorry, okay? I’m not in the mood.”

Ronan crossed his arms. “I know you’re not. That’s why I started the conversation.”

Adam blinked. “Because you want to be an asshole?”

Ronan narrowed his eyes at him. “That’s why I asked if you would be able to leave.”

It clicked before Ronan had finished the sentence. “Oh.”

Ronan didn’t reply. Adam felt even worse than before.

“Seriously, I’m sorry.”

Ronan shook his head. “Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Apologizing. We don’t do that.”

Adam sat up properly, his back leaning against the front of the car. “That’s true. We’re too proud for that.”

Ronan’s lips twitched upwards. “And way too stubborn.”

“We could probably keep fighting for ages.”

“I’m pretty sure we already have.”

Adam pointed to the car. “I still need to fix a few things. You can leave.”

Ronan didn’t protest, but pushed himself away from the wall and walked up to him. With quick motions he gave Adam’s shoulder a pat and was out of the shop within seconds. As Adam listened to the sound of his car starting and driving away he couldn’t help but to feel a bit better. In fact, this was the best he had felt all day.

“Weird,” he mumbled to himself and went back to work.

* * *

 

Ronan was angry at something - when wasn’t he really? - and Adam was doing his best to not provoke him. He wasn’t feeling like being his punching bag today.

One trait that they all shared, which Adam sometimes hated and sometimes loved, was the fact that they never talked about why they were feeling angry or hurt. They all just kept it bottled in until they exploded over something trivial. It was only when one of them asked - which was rare - that they talked about it, and that wasn’t always promised either. Adam knew that if he asked Ronan what was wrong he would most likely get profanities thrown at him.

Then again, if Ronan would’ve asked him why he had been feeling the way he had the night before, he would’ve probably reacted in the same way, though in a slightly milder fashion.

Sometimes he couldn’t tell if they were a match made in heaven or complete opposites. Maybe it didn’t even matter. Maybe the fact that Ronan never seemed to judge Adam’s anger was enough. Maybe he needed to follow his example.

“Do you want me to leave?” he asked, not sure if he was playing with fire or not.

Ronan glared at him, but there was no heat in it. He wasn’t glaring at Adam, but just glaring in general. “No.”

“You sure?”

“No.”

“So helpful.”

“Shut the fuck up, Parrish.”

Adam then did something that he was sure would result in him losing an arm. He reached out to briefly touch Ronan’s back. “Relax. I’ll let you be.”

“No.”

“Ronan-”

“No, just…” Ronan trailed off, his anger still there but not as apparent. “Stay.” His voice was lower than before, almost softer. “Just stay.”

Adam stayed.

* * *

 

It was early and Adam was tired. Of course he was. He rarely got a proper night’s sleep anymore. What with the hundred jobs he had, school work, and searching for a dead king, he had to prioritize some things, and sleep just wasn’t at the top of that list, as much as he wanted it to.

He arrived to his first class bright and early, like usual. Ronan, for some reason, was right behind him this morning. Bright and early. Adam was slightly concerned for his sanity, but decided not to comment on it.

They sat next to each other, their arms almost touching. Their bodies almost too close. Their eyes almost meeting.

“You look like crap,” Ronan said. His version of a greeting, Adam reckoned.

“Good morning to you, too,” Adam replied tiredly.

Ronan snorted and turned to look at him more properly. “Seriously, man, don’t you get any sleep at all? We dropped you off at nine last night.”

“I had homework, Lynch,” Adam snapped, not up for this conversation right now. Not ever, if he had to be honest. “Some of us care about our grades.”

Ronan’s eyes narrowed. “Fuck you, Parrish.”

“Yeah, I love you, too.”

“Did I just walk in on a confession? I can leave.”

“Very funny, Gansey.”

Gansey smiled cheerfully and took a seat on the chair in front of them, turning around in order to face them. “Did you get any sleep last night?”

“Loads,” Adam replied. Ronan remained silent.

“Oh, good.”

The bell rang and class was about to start, so Gansey turned his focus to the teacher who just entered the room. Adam stifled a yawn and attempted to do the same. He felt Ronan’s arm touch his own briefly, and he suddenly felt a bit better.

He showed his appreciation by leaning against Ronan to let their arms touch again, but he lingered for a bit longer than Ronan had. He didn’t seem to mind.

* * *

 

Adam felt vulnerable. Raw. Like an open book. He always did when he was upset. He hated it. He wanted to be unknowable. A mystery. Not someone who alerted everyone in his vicinity by simply existing that he was feeling like crawling into bed and never emerging.

He didn’t know if it was just in his mind; the idea that his friends were sneaking glances at him. It probably was. All he knew was that the night was magical and chillier than he would’ve liked and Gansey was talking about something that only Blue paid attention to and Noah seemed to be there but also not and Ronan was out of his line of vision like a far off memory.

He sighed quietly, for some reason feeling more lonely than ever. Even though the people he called his family were _right there_. It wasn’t their fault, of course. He was just mess of a person who’d mastered the art of isolating himself. He wasn’t even sure _why_ he was feeling sad. He just was. Neither the view nor the company seemed to be able to change it.

Maybe he subconsciously wasn’t letting them change it. Maybe he thought he deserved this. Maybe he did deserve this.

He felt the familiar feeling of a body pressing up against his side, and he didn’t have to turn to know it was Ronan; having abandoned his spot in the shadows at last. Adam could sense his questioning look. He knew Ronan could tell something was wrong. He always could.

Maybe the feeling of being observed had come from Ronan and not the others.

“I’m fine,” Adam murmured before Ronan could even ask.

“Bullshit.”

“Please, Ronan, not right now.”

Ronan didn’t say anything, but Adam could feel his stare. He turned to meet it. It wasn’t the sort of stare he’d been expecting. It was soft, understanding, but still left no room for Adam to lie his way out of this. It carried a promise of no judgement; something it almost always did. Adam hadn’t realized how much he’d needed that promise.

He shook his head. “I just… I feel a little down. I’ll be fine. I already feel better than before.” He averted his eyes as he said that last bit. He wasn’t sure why.

Ronan gave his side a nudge with his elbow. “I’m sure Gansey would love to have a sobfest if you wanted to talk to someone.”

Adam grinned at that. He couldn’t help it. “I’m sure he would.”

As the last sunrays disappeared behind the mountains, Adam, heart pounding, body rigid, eyes straight forward, reached out to slip his hand into Ronan’s. Ronan didn’t react at first, and he was certain that he’d crossed a line.

His gaze stuck somewhere on Noah’s back, almost seeing through him in the growing darkness, Adam counted the seconds before Ronan would rip him to pieces for assuming. For being a dumbass and assuming that he of all people would want to hold Adam’s hand. For having the audacity to assume that Adam was good enough to hold his hand. For-

His heart didn’t slow down when their fingers tangled together. It didn’t slow down when Ronan gripped his hand tightly. It didn’t slow down when he gave Adam’s hand a squeeze, as if to assure him.

It didn’t slow down, but the way it was racing could only be described as a symptom of pure euphoria.

Adam kept staring at Noah’s back and Ronan kept staring at whatever he was staring at and neither of them said a word, but their hands remained like that; just holding on for dear life. Adam had forgotten why he’d been upset to begin with.


End file.
